DON
DON'T LEAVE YOUR
GARAGE DOOR OPENER IN SIGHT IN YOUR CAR, ALONG WITH YOUR
REGISTRATION IN YOUR GLOVE BOX! A THIEF COULD NOT ONLY STEAL YOU
CAR. HE COULD USE IT TO DRIVE TO YOUR HOME, AND SIMPLY LET HIMSELF IN
THROUGH THE GARAGE. AND, WHY WOULD YOUR NEIGHBORS THINK ANYTHING AT ALL IS
AMISS...WHEN THEY ONLY SAW YOUR CAR GO INTO YOUR GARAGE! AT
ANY GIVEN TIME OF DAY (AT WORK) CARS ARE TYPICALLY PARKED ONLY 3 TO 14 MINUTES
FROM HOME. MOM AND DAD ARE WORKING, AND THE KIDS ARE AT SCHOOL. AND,
MOST NIMRODS WHO HAVE ALARM SYSTEMS USUALLY STICK BIG SIGNS ALL AROUND THEIR
HOUSE ADVERTISING IT! BUT IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER, ANYWAY. BECAUSE A
CROOK WILL SIMPLY FIRST SEE IF HE SETS OFF AN ALARM (OR LOOK FOR A PANEL FOR A
SILENT) THEN SIMPLY GRAB SOMETHING QUICK, AND HIGHTAIL IT! WELL, YOU MAY
NOW SAY TO YOURSELF..."WHAT?! WHAT A RIP-OFF! I KNEW ABOUT THIS ALL
ALONG...I NEVER LEAVE MY REGISTRATION IN THE GLOVE BOX...WHO ON EARTH WOULD DO
SUCH A STUPID THING AS THAT?!" "AND, I ALWAYS TAKE MY GARAGE DOOR OPENER
WITH ME TO THE OFFICE...ALONG WITH MY LAWNMOWER!" "IF I EVER GET PULLED
OVER, I'LL SIMPLY TELL THE COP ASKING FOR MY LICENSE & REGISTRATION THAT
I LEAVE IT AT HOME!" "SIR/MAM, GET OUT OF THE CAR AND PUT YOUR HANDS
BEHIND YOUR HEAD..." CLICK/CLICK..."OFFICER, THE HANDCUFFS ARE CUTTING OFF
MY CIRCULATION!" "OH YA, WELL WAIT UNTIL YOUR SITTING ON THEM, TOO...FOR
THE 15 MINUTE RIDE TO BOOKING!" NO...NOT LIKELY TO HAPPEN. BUT IF
YOUR TEENAGE SON IS DRIVING YOUR CAR? A FRIEND? AUNT MIMI FROM
OMAHA!? DOES YOUR INSURANCE CARD, ETC DISPLAY YOUR ADDRESS?
"NO...WHAT A JIP!" O.K., DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ANY MAIL? THAT 7-MONTH
OLD EDITION OF NEWSWEEK STILL BURIED UNDER THE PASSENGER SEAT...WITH YOUR
SUBSCRIPTION LABEL ON THE FRONT COVER?! YA...YOU'VE THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING,
RIGHT?! WHAT ABOUT IN YOUR TRUNK? "NOTHING...AND BESIDES, MY GLOVE
BOX IS ALWAYS LOCKED, TOO...SO THERE!" YA...AND FORT KNOX PUTS ALL THE
GOLD INTO BMW GLOVE BOXES...BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE'S NOTHING MORE SECURE
THAN THOSE! "O.K. GENIUS...BUT NOW I REALLY WANT MY MONEY BACK, BECAUSE
YOU'RE REALLY AN IDIOT...SURE, THE CROOK MAY GET INTO MY GARAGE, BUT I HAVE A
DEADBOLT ON THE DOOR LEADING INTO MY HOME!" GEE, WHAT A DIFFICULT OBSTACLE
FOR AN EX-CON - DESPERATE FOR CRACK-CASH HOMEBOY TO ENCOUNTER! AND, OF
COURSE, I, LIKE YOU, ALWAYS BEFORE LEAVING FOR WORK BRING MY SAWZALL (THAT CAN
CUT A CAR IN HALF!) AND ALL THE REST OF MY TOOLS INTO THE HOUSE -- THE WIFE
LOVES THAT...BESIDES, ONLY TAKES ME 2-3 HOURS A DAY TO DO IT! I ONCE ATTENDED A CLASS IN LOS ANGELES (AT WARNER BROS
STUDIO
IN BURBANK...IT WAS SWEET!) FOR COPS / SECURITY WHERE THE GUEST SPEAKER WAS AN
EX (CON) PROFESSIONAL CAR BURGLAR...JUAN ("TITO-LAYS"...HIS FORMER GANG NAME)
WAS HIS NAME. AMONG THE VARIOUS THINGS "TITO" TAUGHT US ABOUT WHAT TO LOOK
FOR IN A SUSPECT WERE SCARS ON HANDS, WRISTS & ARMS (HE HAD A LOT!) FROM
HURRIEDLY REACHING UNDER DASHES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO YANK OUT STEREOS!
NEAR THE END OF THE SEMINAR, WE ALL WENT OUTSIDE FOR A FEW DEMONSTRATIONS SET UP
USING A (NOT THAT OLD) COP CAR. THE ONE THAT REALLY GOT ME WAS WHEN JUAN
PULLED A SPARK PLUG OUT OF HIS POCKET. HE SAID, "JUST BECAUSE YOU STOP A
GUY AT 2 AM, SEARCH HIM, AND FIND A SPARK PLUG IN HIS POCKET, DOESN'T MEAN HE'S
AN AUTO MECHANIC...LIKE HE TELLS YOU." HE THEN DROPS THE PLUG ON THE
GROUND, STOMPS ON IT WITH HIS BOOT, AND PROCEEDS TO THEN PICK UP SOME OF THE
SHATTERED CERAMIC. TITO THEN GOES UP TO THE CAR (LOCKED, AND WINDOWS UP
TIGHT) STANDS BACK A FEW FEET, THEN THROWS-HARD A SMALL HANDFUL OF THE BROKEN
SPARKPLUG INSULATION AT THE CAR'S DRIVERS SIDE WINDOW -- KOOSH! IT
SHATTERED LIKE SOMEONE HIT IT WITH A BOWLING BALL! HE THEN EASILY JUST
KICKS THE WINDOW IN, JUMPS INTO THE CAR, JAMS A SCREWDRIVER INTO THE KEY HOLE /
THEN REACHES UNDER THE DASH (WHILE LOOKING OUT THE FRONT WINDOW, WITH HIS CHIN
RESTING ON THE DASH...LIKE HE'S DONE THIS 1000 TIMES!) THEN TURNS THE
SCREWDRIVER...AND BAM...THE CAR STARTS! ALL OF THIS TOOK PLACE (THE WINDOW
& ALL) IN LESS THAN 2 FULL MINUTES! BUT DOES "HE" EVEN NEED TO STEAL
YOUR CAR? NO...HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE HIS CAR PARKED NEARBY, AND JUST
WANTS TO GRAB THE REMOTE & YOUR ADDRESS!
"THIS KIND OF THING NEVER HAPPENS TO ME
(OR MY FAMILY) WE'RE...DIFFERENT!" YEP...SURE YOU ARE!
WELL, AND AS I SAID IN THE LISTING,
THIS IS ON THE
HONOR SYSTEM...I'LL REFUND YOUR MONEY, NO QUESTIONS ASKED! FOR A
REFUND, JUST SEND AN EMAIL TO
geotown10@yahoo.com
AND ENTER IN THE SUBJECT LINE "REFUND" ALONG WITH THE ITEM NUMBER.
AND, PLEASE, IF YOU DO LEAVE ME SOME
POSITIVE FEEDBACK (I WILL FOR YOU!) PLEASE DON'T DIVULGE WHAT MY INFORMATION IS
ABOUT! I GREATLY APPRECIATE THIS. WE CAN'T COUNT ON OUR
GOVERNMENT AND/OR MEDIA MUCH TO GIVE US SUCH USEFUL, AND POTENTIALLY EVEN
LIFE-SAVING INFORMATION. ALL THE MEDIA IS GOOD FOR NOWADAYS IS TELLING
US PRETTY MUCH WHAT WE'VE ALREADY KNOWN FOR YEARS, OR ALL ABOUT SOME MESSED-UP
CELEBRITIES! AND DON'T WORRY IF I DON'T RESPOND TO YOUR EMAIL RIGHT AWAY,
EITHER. YOUR REFUND REQUEST WILL BE BASED ON THE DATE RECEIVED IN
MY EMAIL INBOX, NOT WHEN I GET AROUND TO OPENING IT! I HAVE A LOT OF OTHER
THINGS GOING ON, AND SOMETIMES, THE DISHES TO DO, TOO!
Copyright Notice: ©
2008 theinformer.tripod.com/
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